Unintentional Hiatus

Isn’t it funny how hard it is to start something, but so easy to stop? It feels like it  takes no time at all. You miss one day of exercise and the next thing you know, it’s been a month. 

Hiatus is defined as: a pause or gap in a sequence, series, or process. Well, I was in the process of losing weight and becoming a blogger. Somehow, I ended up taking an unintentional hiatus from both. 

The exercising I can justify. I had a small procedure to remove a growth from my skin. The Doc said no exercise for 2 weeks, no problem. PROBLEM! Apparently my body needs a little more time to heal completely. I started exercising and the wound started to open back up. So I stopped. I’ve now had to go and get the wound re-stitched, and start over with the no exercise. 

I’m not even totally sure how blogging came to a halt. I guess it was somewhere around the start of school. One day passed without a post and then another, now here it is over 4 months later and I’m finally posting. 

  
In the past, when these unintentional hiatuses occurred, I would find myself thinking I was too far behind to even think about picking back up. But this time I am going to do my best to push those thoughts aside. When it comes to something you really want, shouldn’t it be that way? Press on towards the goal no matter what, right?!? I have given up on too many things too many times. 

Now at 33 years old, after getting married and having 3 kids in a 5 year period, I’m ready to come off an even longer unintentional hiatus of not accomplishing my goals. Don’t get me wrong, I’m an awesome wife and mother (let me just toot my own horn! LoL!) and wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world, but I’m ready for more. So I’m starting with getting in shape and this blog. All both require is a little time. 

What is it that you want to accomplish but it has been a while since you worked at it?

~~ D

* I think I’ll throw getting more organized in the mix. 

My Little Blessings

I met this woman once, I can’t remember her name or if she even told me, but I know her face and will hopefully never forget her. She is one of those people that seemingly crossed my path for one small reason that will forever impact me. I’ve thought about what would happen if I saw her again, how happy I would be, and if she would understand my joy. A part of me knows I may never see her again because it seems like I would have if I was going to.  A part of me holds out hope that I will see her and have the opportunity to tell her how she touched me. 

Let me tell you about this woman. Ours paths crossed in the Women’s restroom at church. I was there with my two little girls, trying to change one while the other is saying she had to go potty. So I tell her to go ahead, in the stall right across from the changing table. She has trouble locking the door and this Woman goes and holds it closed for her. She was an older woman, I’m in my early 30s so when I say older I’m thinking 50-60s, and she had one crippled hand. When my daughter was done the woman turned on the water for her so she could wash her hands and helped her dry them. I know, STRANGER DANGER, but I was watching and talking to my daughter the whole time. Of course I thanked her and was appreciative. She told me how beautiful my girls were. I didn’t think much of it, she was a nice stranger at church ( I go to a very big church). Something of this nature happened a few more times, we always seemed to be in the restroom at the same time. She always went out of her way to help me. One of the last times I remember seeing her, I was telling her how much I appreciated her help and she didn’t have to do it. This is what she said that has her ingrained in my memory, “It blesses me to help you. Neither myself or my sister have children. Seeing you with your children and helping them is a blessing to me.”

My Children were a blessing to a complete stranger! Not because of anything they did or said, but because they were children. She had none of her own and to reach out and be a very small part of the lives of my own, they won’t even remember her, blessed her. I wish I could tell her how that impacted me. I wish she could know that her words will forever be in my heart. Sometimes in moments of frustration, when I’m in a public restroom with 3 little ones, I think about her. I think about people that want this and for whatever reason don’t or can’t have it. 

  
I am blessed. My children are not only a blessing to me, but to those around them who need it. You are blessed. Your children are not only a blessing to you. 

~DaVonda

The Mommy Slide

Today is my birthday and here is a bit of raw uncut truth. Before today I just wished for a nice birthday with friends and/or family nothing special. I’m not a big birthday person I appreciate when someone remembers and I fully expect birthday wishes from my immediate family. Anyone else’s wishes for me is an added but not mandatory bonus! Well, the day has come and nothing has really been planned just a few ideas here and there. This is not a problem.
As I type this I realize my mind has changed 100%. The kiddos woke up at 5:30am and it was impossible to get them to stay in their room much less their beds. Hubby got called into work around the same time as the kiddos woke up so I fixed him a To-go breakfast as well as a lunch in case he doesn’t get to come right back home. I was up so I figured some cleaning could be done. It was oddly cool outside so I opened all the windows fixed some nutrients for The Princess and T2 and got to it. Any break I take means it’s play time. I am currently leaning on the bed my feet on the floor. They climb up and slide down my back. I’m a human slide.
I love my children and spend as much time as I can with them. Babysitters are rare yet available. On days that I do work (3-5 days a month) I typically pick them up right after work around 2 pm and I do something special with them. (Oh yeah, I get mommy guilt BAD)

All this to say right now all I want is to be alone. I want my clothes to be clean for longer than 5 minutes, I want to eat a full meal…alone, I want to write a blog without two toddlers on my back. I want to have a conversation without disguising words I don’t want the kids to hear (this morning I listed ingredients of a cookie so I didn’t have to say the word “cookies”). I want to sit down and make a complete shopping list so nothing gets left out.

Most of all I want to stop feeling guilty for wanting just a little me time on my birthday.

In the end I know that my day will be perfect. My husband will eventually come home and we will cook and eat or go to a movie and splurge on popcorn soda and a pickle. It is the day God has chosen for me and anything with him is perfect.

Reset

About a little while ago, we ( the kids and I) were not having a good day. Well, maybe it was just me. The morning had gone ok, I managed to get my work out in, and we were finished with lunch. Then came quiet time. Usually I put the 1 year old (Neriah), who shares a room with the 3 year old (Keturah), down first. Once she’s asleep I ease in the 3 year old and send the 5 year old (Christian) to his room. This is how it goes. I know it, they know it, it is known. 

Most of the time my sweet little Neriah will give me at least 2 hours, but not today. She fooled me! I thought she was sleep, but when I went to ease Keturah in I saw that she was not. Neriah was quiet so I figured it would be ok and put Keturah down anyway. WRONG! Leaving Keturah in the room was clearly a go on play time. Then, Christian claimed that he was trying so hard to sleep but the girls were keeping him up. Yeah right buddy! Finally, I got Keturah to sleep. Neriah wasn’t sleep but she couldn’t get out of her crib and I settled for that. While I did not expect Christian to go to sleep, he is usually good with laying in his bed playing. I thought it was safe to go take a quick, much needed shower.

Just as I was about to get in the shower I heard a knock. I’m thinking, “Seriously?!?”. It was my son. 

Me: What do you want? Mommy is about to take a fast bath.

Him: I want to come down stairs. 

Me: YELLING. NO! It’s quiet time and no one is being quiet!! Go back to your room!

Him: Running off crying. I just wanted to be with mommy. 

I felt horrible, I was angry and my patience was non existent. I didn’t run after him, maybe you think that’s mean, but I needed a moment. I needed to calm down and be able to go talk to him like the Mommy he wanted to be downstairs with. So, I went and took my shower. 

During my shower I prayed and I thought. I decided that the rest of the day just needed to be relaxed, we all needed to reset. We needed to start over from a good place. When I got out I went upstairs and hugged and talked to Chriatian, then I got the girls out of their beds.  We had snacks on the patio, then I put them in their swim suits and made a bubble bath in my tub(one of their favorite things to do). The evening ended with dinner and a movie. 

   
These were simple things, things that easily changed the mood and made all us feel good. The point is sometimes you have a bad day and sometimes you have to apologize to your children, but the fixes aren’t always big and grand. Think about an electronic device, most of them have this tiny reset button so small that you need a pen or pin to push it. Once you do it takes the device back to it’s original setting, it resets it. You don’t always need to do something major to make a major difference. 

Every once in a while the kids are not going to nap, maybe they’ll be rowdy because of sugar or because they’re kids and human and they have off days. Every once in a while I’ll (you’ll) lose it or be on the verge or maybe I (you) just won’t feel like fighting. There is nothing wrong with an off day here and there. I’ve decided that the “Bubble Bath Fun Day” will be one of my go to Resets when it comes to the children. We’ve already done it again, that time it was to stop the bad day before it got to that point. 

I’m going to come up with some other ideas to add my Reset list. I’m also going to apply this in other areas and relationships in my life. 

What are some ways you reset? Let us know in the comments! 

~DaVonda

P.S. We, The Baby Weight Diaries, are 2 mommies learning as we go. We are not preaching to the choir, we are the choir. 

6 Simple Ways to Squeeze in Mommy Time

After writing the post on “Me Time“,  we decided to come up with a list of simple of ways to get that Me Time in when you don’t have a babysitter. So here goes:

1. Once the kids are down enjoy an actual bath. Sit down in the tub, make your bubbles, drop in your bath bombs or salts. Take in your fav book and get one of those bath pillows. 

2. Wake up early. If your kiddos wake up around the same time each day you can set an alarm to rise an hour earlier, take a shower and spend time pampering yourself, just because.

3. Go outside. Just sitting on your porch or patio, or hanging in a hammock can be a nice change of scenery. During Nap or Bedtime grab your favorite beverage and maybe even a snack, and step out. Take the monitor if it makes you feel better. 

4. Have a late dinner. Put the kids to bed, grab a snack to hold you over if needed, and have a late dinner. Make it romantic if including your spouse. 

5. Do a home mani/pedi. Sure, it’s so much better to go to the spa but sometimes it doesn’t work out that way. Dig in your closet and pull out that old foot spa you got as a Christmas gift that one year. Look up a foot soak recipe, there is s good one going around using listerine and vinegar. 

6. Go to your room. It’s something we tell our children often. How about telling yourself. If your kiddos are older and can be occupied for a bit without you just do it! Not for the whole day but maybe a movie length of time or even 30 minutes again, IF the kiddos are old enough and don’t require constant supervision. If not, one idea is to go in their room or yours a very kid safe but quiet-ish room close the door and lay down while they play. I understand this isn’t as much of a break but it has worked to gain a tad bit of sanity.

Yes, these all involve the children being asleep or having quiet time, but sometimes it is the only free time you have. So the next time you feel in need of refreshing, do something to relax yourself instead of trying to squeeze in one more chore. The chores are not going anywhere, we can’t promise the same for your sanity.
Have you tried these or other ways? Let us know in the comments. We look forward to more ideas!

  
~~ DaVonda and Mari

Weekly Jumpstart: No Shame in Me Time

As mothers, we are hard wired to care for and nurture. God made us that way. We make sure everyone is ok, that they all have what they need and want when feasible. It makes us happy! Happy to see our family happy, happy to see that the bows match the dress perfectly, happy to see that the jeans do in fact fit over the Cowboys boots. When all is right in their world all is right in our world. Right?

Soon, I believe some of us notice that we start doing less and less of the things we used to do just for us. Some of us see it as a something worth sacrificing for, but to what extent? Ok, I’m one of those. I think it’s been years since I had a mani pedi, and that’s my own fault. I’ve been wanting a haircut for the longest but just haven’t made it happen. I know other mommies that make sure they get their “Me Time”. They understood the importance of this way before I did. 

A few times I even got mad at my husband for all the things I sacrificed or had not done. The truth is, I should’ve just taken the time and not allowed myself to feel guilty for doing so. It was no one else’s fault. Guilt was and is my biggest deterrent when it comes to “Me Time”. I don’t like to ask people to watch my kids, unless I absolutely need to do something sans kids, even though I have plenty of offers from others that realize how important it is to take a moment for yourself. For a while, I just didn’t get how some other mothers were so adamant about their “Me Time”. I may have even taken pride in my self inflicted sacrifices. 

Let me clarify, I’ve gone on vacations with and without the kids. And I don’t mind when the grandparents want them for a weekend. I’m talking about doing the little things that make me feel refreshed. I have had offers from multiple people to just let me go to the grocery store by myself (my husband works out of town a lot) and I just won’t take them up on it. I feel like they’re my kids and if I can get it done with them then I will. Honestly it would be less stressful on all of us if I would just let them play at a friends house every now and then while I shopped. What kids wants to be stuck in a shopping cart for an hour, and what mother wants to keep saying “Inside voice!”? 

If you’re like me and under estimate the importance of “Me Time”, STOP!! Even if you just soak your feet after the kids go to bed, at least it’s something for you. I did this the other night and it was great! At this point I have yet to take one of the other mom’s up on their offer to make a solo run to the store, maybe I will soon. I’ll let you know how that goes. 

~~ DaVonda

Weekly Jumpstart: Be Grateful

Sometimes at the start of a new week we may feel fresh and rejuvenated. We may have a spring in our step and an abundance of optimism! Then, something happens during the week to throw us off and knock us down a few notches. On the other hand, maybe we’re not looking forward to our week at all. Maybe we feel there is nothing to look forward to. There are so many scenarios that can take you up and down and back up again. We may not always have control over these, but we do have control over our attitudes.

I was reading a devotion a few mornings ago and one of the tasks was to make a list of 10 things I am grateful for. As I started to think and make the list I began to smile. Most of the list was simple things; family, life, home, having use of all my senses, and so on. I was surprised by the way my emotions and spirit responded to making a list of things I was grateful for. Now I was not having a bad day at all, I was actually on my way to Buenos Aires, Argentina (I’ll write about that later). So if on a good day being reminded of all I have to be grateful for brightened my spirits, imagine what it could do on a not so good day or just a down right bad day!

This brings to mind one time my 2 teenagers were arguing. They were being horrible! I had had enough, and was racking my brain for what I could do. My husband was not home, but I thought about times before when he sat them down and reminded them of how good they had it and that they should act like it. So, I made them make 2 lists. The first was things they loved/liked about each other, and the second was the things they were grateful for. I made them read their lists to each other and then put them up on their walls as constant reminders.

How many times do we have to remind our young children of all they have when they’re upset about that toy they can’t have at the store? We’re adults now, but we are God’s children and sometime we need to be reminded of all we have to be grateful for. We need to remember all God has blessed us with and give Him praise.

So your children are bringing you pretty close to tearing out your hair, but could you imagine life without them? Your husband works long hours and you feel overwhelmed at home, but at least he has a job to provide for his family. That co-worker is tap dancing on your last nerve, but there are so many people wishing the had work and you’re not one of them. Maybe you don’t have your dream home or vehicle yet, but you do have a home and a vehicle. I know 2 people that were recently in car accidents and walked away unharmed! I could go on.

18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:18New International Version (NIV)

Webster defines grateful as, “feeling or showing thanks“. Which is why something as simple as making a list of the things you are grateful for can brighten your day or week, it can completely change your attitude. I challenge you to make a list this week of at least 10 things you are grateful for, just like I did during my devotion time. I’d even go as far as to place this list somewhere you will see everyday, maybe multiple times a day. When you are in an attitude of praise and thankfulness it is hard to be brought down.

Have a blessed week!

~~ DaVonda

Tune in Tuesday: De-Clutter

So as you know I have this renewed fit lifestyle I’m trying to achieve. I have been doing my yoga challenge and squat challenge daily and I feel really good! (Plus my rear end is all plump and what not and my legs are really toning) Next month I will definitely be doing an abs challenge. I feel like I’m de-cluttering my body from all this unnecessary baggage but guess what!? That’s not my point. Not the de-cluttering I’m talking about. I have written about clearing our minds when it’s meditation time and that still is not what I’m talking about. I’m actually talking about clutter. The physical mess. The stuff we have just in case we need it even though it’s been 6 years and we have yet to open the box. Not talking extreme minimalism but freedom. We can do all the yoga and all the meditation possible but if we don’t clear the way for the benefits of the yoga and meditation to last then why are we doing it? There have been times where I actually sit on clothes in the closet to meditate. Sure, it feels good and possibly lasts throughout the day but how much better would it be. How much more could we benift if we had less things for our mind to get lost in. In order for us to really tune into ourselves we need to get order.

If you are like me and buy 5 items just to get the “free” gift card, Maybe you need to de-clutter.
Designate a stockpile room or shelf. If you don’t have space maybe save $5 rather than buy more to get the card. Another idea is to return things that aren’t needed. pocket the money and just buy again IF the time comes where u need it so many stores have a no questions asked return policy. If I get too many hot dogs/buns for a party you can bet I will be returning the unused bags of buns/dogs.

If you have more than 1 set of your baby’s first birthday plate setting, you might need to de-clutter. I recently found soccer and butterfly party supplies from my son’s and my daughter’s first birthday parties AKA clutter! When will he/she have another soccer/butterfly theme party!? So every day they been eating on these plates. He is 3 and She is two now and they feel special! Another idea would be to give them to someone who was going to have a party with a similar theme or sell it. We have several buy/sell/trade community groups on Facebook and IG in our community.

It’s not always the “hoarders” that have clutter it’s everyday people. The clutter is not always seen but I kid you not I have found new homes for those birthday plates and cups at least 5 times. It’s just not something nessisary to keep..it’s nice to go to the cabinet grab what is needed and go on with life. Searching through this that and the other not only clutters our homes but our minds as well!

This week maybe we can all look around the home and see what clutter there is that is secretly cluttering our minds as well.

Weekly Jump Start: No Small Task

One evening, a little more than 3 years ago, my husband, myself and our 2 smallest(at the time) were sitting down for dinner in a hotel. My husband had to take a class for work in Oklahoma, so we tagged along. Anyway, we were sitting down when a man comes up and asks if he may sit in the empty seat at our table. Just to clarify, this wasn’t a fancy restaurant, it was the breakfast/buffet area and this hotel served dinner 4 nights a week. So he sits, we’re talking and we find out he’s a minister. Well, before he gets up to leave he says some very specific things to my husband and I that he says God put on his heart.The things he spoke on had not at all been mentioned during our dinner conversation, but they were so on point!

He shared 2 things with me, and i want to share one with you. It’s been so long that I know I won’t get it verbatim, but hopefully you’ll get the point. He said to me, ” What you’re doing as a mother is very important. Don’t get caught up in the mundane day to day task and think it’s a small thing or no big deal.” I’m sure there was more and I wish I could remember every word, but I can’t. The thing is at the time, that statement spoke volumes to me. How could he know that I needed to hear that? I didn’t know I needed to hear it until I heard it!

Ever since I decided I wanted children I knew that I wanted to stay home with them, that was purely my decision. My husband wasn’t stomping around saying he wanted his woman barefoot and pregnant at home! I desired to be home with my children before I had a husband or children. Even still, sometime I felt as though I wasn’t doing enough and was guilty down playing my role as a SAHM. Now, sometimes God will put it on your heart to do more and reach farther for the purpose of glorifying His Kingdom, I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about looking at motherhood (parenthood) as your ministry. I was not always looking at it this way. I can only speak from the perspective of the Stay at Home Mother, and I know that sometime when there is no monetary value attached to the work you are doing  you can feel like what you are doing is less than. Now, this is not a post about SAHM vs. WAHM vs. Work Outside the Home Mom. Everything every parent pours into their children has a Godly and Spiritual value.

A little over a month ago I was in church, the first weekend of every month they especially lift up families in prayer. That weekend the Pastor’s Wife was speaking during this time, I wrote down a few points from her mini lesson:

• My (Your) words carry weight.
• My (Your) encouragement impacts the ones I love and love me. Especially my (your) spouse and children.
• I/You am/are ordained to speak into my/your husband’s and childrens’ lives.

Hearing things like that always brings back to my mind what that stranger said to me at dinner that one evening. Anyone that knew me could have said something like, actually I’m pretty sure they have. But there is something about hearing things from someone that knows nothing about you, it almost like it makes it more clear to you that it is definitely God speaking.

I often have to remind myself that my first ministry is right here in my home. My children and husband are my first opportunity everyday to show God’s love, to speak greatness into, and to impact in a positive way. This is no small thing. When your children go out they are a reflection of their home life, and they do not hide it! There are no facades with them. So what do you want the world to say when it comes to your children, more importantly what do you want God to say?

Whether you stay at home or go out to work, parenting is no small task. When you start to feel like your day to day task are not significant remember, God has entrusted you with another life. You impact them and they will impact those around them. You are their first minister, teacher, cheerleader, mentor, advisor, counselor, and a whole lot more. Not only did God give them to you, He gave you to them! No task God gives you is small.

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31 New International Version (NIV)

~~DaVonda

Tune In Tuesday: Push

One week ago today I started jogging. I had been avoiding it at all costs. The last time I ran of my own free will, besides chasing down a kid, was that one time I was living on my cousin’s couch and she decided it was a nice Saturday morning for a run. I remember thinking some not so pleasant things, but I wasn’t going to be the lazy one. Anyway, the point is, me and running/jogging are not friends.

My husband and I have been exercising regularly and eating better for about 9 weeks now. Around halfway in he started running in addition to our regular workout, so I started walking and pushing the kids in the stroller. I was comfortable with this, this place was fine. Just enough extra and still in my comfort zone. Well, last Tuesday we were without kids, I had no one to push. So, I decided that I was going to jog one time around which is about half a mile. I was ok with this, but just before that lap was over my wonderful Husband speaks up to encourage me, “Come on Sweetie! You can do another one, you can go farther than you think. It’s all in your head, you gotta push yourself, just relax and focus on your breathing.” Sweet, right? I’m thinking “Leave me alone!”, and a whole list of excuses to support me stopping. But I kept going! Let me tell  you, it felt so good to know that I could jog that mile, that I could in fact go farther than I thought.

  
I had done something I thought I couldn’t. I had no desire to even try because I thought I would hate it. If I had never pushed myself, I would’ve had no idea what I was capable of. Sure, my Husband’s encouraging words were nice and made me think, but in the end it was completely up to me to keep going. How many times do we sell ourselves short because we won’t even try? How many times have we become comfortable and complacent?

All it takes is a little mental push! In your quiet time this week think about something you have been avoiding or a goal you can make a little bigger. Challenge yourself to push in these areas. Often times giving up is so tempting, or maybe we have accomplished just enough to be comfortable and still in our comfort zones. Easier said than done, I know. But I also know that last Tuesday I jogged a mile and today, one week later, I jogged a mile and a half. Pretty soon I’ll be up to two miles!!

……And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,             Hebrews 12:1

~~ DaVonda